Reflect

During a recent Tooled Up webinar, autistic advocate, speaker and author, Chris Bonnello, shared an analogy that perfectly illustrates the value of variation. Imagine 10 people stranded on a desert island with a storm blowing in. They have only one hour to build a shelter before they face the full force of the weather. If all 10 people have exactly the same brains - one way of looking at the problem and only one set of ideas - they may well struggle to get the shelter built. Now, imagine the same scenario with a mix of neurotypical, ADHD, autistic, and dyslexic brains. Suddenly, the problem is tackled from multiple perspectives, increasing the chance of a solution if they collaborate.

This Neurodiversity Celebration Week, we’re invited to consider the creativity, curiosity and problem-solving skills that often come with different ways of thinking. It is estimated that around one in seven people - more than 15% of the UK population - are neurodivergent, yet misconceptions and barriers persist. Neurodiversity refers to the natural variation in brain function across the human population, with each individual having unique strengths and challenges. Founder of Neurodiversity Celebration Week, Siena Castellon MBE, started the movement in 2018 when she was still a teenager, driven by a desire to change the way that learning differences are perceived. As someone who is autistic and has ADHD, dyslexia and dyspraxia, Siena found that people tend to focus solely on the challenges of neurological diversity, rather than its value. She wanted to shift the narrative, promoting a more balanced view which also focuses on talents and strengths.

Today, thousands of schools across the world take part in this celebration, raising awareness about what it means to be neurodivergent. But what does true celebration look like? And how can we create environments where all minds - however they work - are understood, supported and given the opportunity to thrive?

Motivate

Firstly, we’ve learned that talking about our brains and how they work is really important. Why? Well, because our brains are made of a staggering 100 billion neurons, which each branch into numerous dendrites, connecting to other neurons. With trillions of connections, there are infinite variations for how our brains can be wired. Every brain is unique. In fact, the only certainty about human brain development is diversity.

When was the last time you stopped and thought about your brain? It’s not just a thinking machine - it’s a hub of ideas, problem-solving and potential. Diversity of thought is invaluable, but modern societies and systems are often built around the ‘average’, placing neurodivergent people under pressure to conform to a narrow definition of what is ‘normal’. It's time to move beyond a one size fits all approach to learning and development. By embracing cognitive diversity and making space for people to share their unique perspectives and strengths, we open the door to greater innovation and creativity, benefitting everyone.

In family life, there are immediate actions we can take. You don’t need to be a neuroscientist to talk to children about how the brain works. Dr Dan Siegel’s hand model can be a great way to introduce some key concepts. Challenging harmful, prejudicial or unkind language that children may use - sometimes without fully understanding its impact - can also make a huge difference. Likewise, ensuring that our children have access to books and media that broaden their understanding and develop empathy will go a long way in shaping a more inclusive mindset for the future. Mutual understanding is key, particularly when it comes to developing friendships amongst children. Experts note that the emphasis should not be on supporting conformity to neuronormative social skills, but on encouraging groups of children with different strengths and challenges to adapt to one another. Social situations are messy and skills alone are not a magic solution.

Secondly, avoiding a binary approach can be beneficial. Many neurodivergent children and adults experience challenges in executive function. These are the cognitive processes which are responsible for the effective and timely execution of tasks, and for regulating our emotions and behaviour. But actually, every human has a unique executive function fingerprint, which changes according to what’s going on in our environment at any given time. We all have different executive function strengths and challenges, and we all struggle with executive function challenges at times, regardless of whether we are neurotypical or neurodivergent.

We can create environments of belonging by normalising some of the challenges that neurodivergent people face. Let’s talk about brain differences as something that we all have, rather than focusing on one individual’s struggles. These challenges are not because they are different, disordered or abnormal. They are because they are human, and they can be supported. This kind of framing opens the door to compassion, both for ourselves and for others. We can all benefit from developing an understanding of how dysregulation can impact our ability to learn, how to recognise it, what strategies help us to self-regulate, and how those around us can help to co-regulate. We know from experts we’ve spoken to that young people often don’t want interventions that make them stand out. Adopting an approach where we are all in it together can be more effective.

Thirdly, it’s vital to talk to young people about challenges that they face and work collaboratively on the support that they require. This week, it’s also World Down’s Syndrome Day, and one large organisation, CoorDown, has released a viral Hamilton homage called No Decision Without Us. It features a teen girl who quite rightly demands a voice in everyday personal choices and insists on a seat at the table where decisions are made about her life. The same applies to all neurodivergent individuals - everyone deserves to have their voice heard and their needs acknowledged in the decision-making processes that affect them.

So let’s not make assumptions. Rather than guessing what is going on for a child, it’s vital to ask them! Talk to them about what task they need to complete, how they might feel when it’s done, what makes it hard for them, and what can make it easier. Let’s be curious and non-judgemental. Together, we can consider barriers and brainstorm solutions. Child-centred approaches like this enable us to view individual children and their families as experts in their own unique strengths, challenges and differences. It’s an approach which focuses on the child’s experiences of the world, and the changes and adaptations that they might need to help them to flourish, rather than on pushing them to conform or mask their true selves. As Dr Jerricah Holder said to us, “I’m a huge advocate of putting the young person and their voice at the heart of any intervention, strategy or adaptation that you are making for that young person. It’s that notion of doing with, not doing to”. Interventions that are led by young people, for young people, are more powerful.

Fourthly, it’s absolutely key to foster positive self-perception. Chris Bonnello spoke movingly about how life changing it was to realise that his personal strengths mattered. He advises finding environments where children can play to their strengths and notes that encouraging them to develop connections, particularly with other neurodivergent children, can be a powerful way to show them that they are not alone. Some young people report that they enjoy coming together with a group of neurodivergent peers where they are able to celebrate different ways of communicating and develop strategies that work together in a safe environment. In general, it’s a good idea to nudge children to surround themselves with people who uplift them - those who are life’s ‘radiators’, not ‘drains’.

It’s worth remembering that for some (though not all), a ‘label’ indicates membership to a wider ‘neuro-tribe’ and this can feel reassuring. Author Claire Sainsbury, who wrote Martian in the Playground, reflected that “getting a diagnosis was the best thing that ever happened to me”. Having insight into how one’s brains work and why one might respond slightly differently to those around us, can aid self-acceptance and boost self-esteem. Early diagnosis can also facilitate parents getting the support that they need too. Unpacking any diagnosis is vital. Often, young people are given a diagnosis with minimal follow up support. Understanding what any label means, and working through how it impacts their identity is key.

Support

Anxiety, sensory sensitivities, and challenges with learning, processing or emotional regulation are all common. By focusing on the full range of neurodivergent experiences - both strengths and challenges - we create a more balanced and realistic understanding of what it means to be neurodivergent. It’s important to remind all children that it's ok not to be perfect and that success doesn't always look the same for everyone. Some children may need additional support to navigate challenges, and that’s perfectly ok. The emphasis should be on providing tools, understanding, and compassion, so that every neurodivergent child has the opportunity to thrive in their own unique way.

Luckily, there is plenty of help available! For example, once a month, Connections in Mind hosts a free webinar called Our Brains Explained. It explores how our brains influence our ability to organise ourselves, manage our behaviour and regulate our emotions to meet our goals, and considers support avenues & strategies for stronger executive function skills. Autism Speaks has produced an excellent bank of videos for parents and caregivers of children with autism which can be found on YouTube. It contains material on home routines, responding to challenging behaviour and using play to promote engagement. We also highly recommend this book, written by Dr Sophie Mooncey and Adele Devine, which can be read by both parents and teens alike, and Chris Bonnello’s website, Autistic Not Weird.

If your child has received an autism diagnosis, The Amazing Autistic Brain Cards can frame discussions around diagnosis in a personalised, positive and meaningful way. Each card shows a strength (such as being inquisitive or honest), or a challenge (such as sensory difficulties or understanding emotions). The pack also includes reusable blank cards which can be personalised, and an accompanying booklet which provides approaches and strategies developed by Dr Gloria Dura-Vila in her clinical practice.

There are also many resources available to help schools make cultural shifts and bring neuroaffirming language and practices into their setting. Primary schools could consider the LEANS curriculum, which is a free programme for mainstream primary schools developed by the University of Edinburgh to introduce pupils aged 8-11 years to the concept of neurodiversity, and how it impacts our experiences at school. Dr Jerricah Holder’s School Wellbeing Cards can be used with children and young people to empower them to share their experiences of school/college, providing invaluable insight into the strengths and barriers that they encounter. Kerry Murphy’s website is a treasure trove of resources and strategies for neurodiversity affirming practice in early childhood, and Mentally Healthy Schools has also produced toolkits for both primary and secondary schools to tie in with Neurodiversity Celebration Week.

One last tip is to look after yourself if you are the supporting adult. Have you had a good night’s sleep? Do you have someone there for you? Can you chat to someone who can listen to how you are doing, thinking and feeling? In the midst of all the celebration, it’s vital to remember that neurodivergent children and adults, and those who love them, are diverse, and no two experiences are exactly alike. While some may thrive with the right support, others may need ongoing assistance to manage challenges. A neuroaffirming approach challenges notions of normalcy, reduces minoritisation, is culturally sensitive, and sets up interventions with, not to, individuals. Let’s remember that the journey is different for everyone and the world is made better when we all understand that differences are not deficits.